It's hunting season, which can only mean one thing. It's time to come up with a good excuse to get out of work and head to the stand.
Your boss may be cool or your boss may be a complete jerk, but no matter what your situation, you're going to need a good excuse to get a day off to hunt this season.
Not all of us are fortunate to have a firefighter's schedule, but I only work nine days a month. Sometimes folks work five days a week, and part time on the weekend. A day in the. stand is going to call for a day out of work.
You're down to the wire, it's hunting season, and you just have to find a way out of work.
If you've used all your best believable excuses in the past, then you probably need some fresh ideas. Don't let anything get in the way of missing work and heading to the treestand, because we have your back.
10. Water you think is going on?
"Hey boss, last night my hot water heater was running into some issues. I was able to get the family through to take a shower, but when I went in for a shower this morning I had no water at all. I went to the basement and my water heater cracked wide open. The basement is completely flooded!"
That one might even buy you a couple days.
9. Buck fever
"Hey there, just calling to let you know I have come down with something this morning. I've had the shakes real bad and my mind isn't all there. I don't really know exactly what it is that's going on but I am just not 100%."
It's not lying, really.
8. Baby got whack
"So, last night got out of hand. My son decided this morning it was a good day to take off his diaper, full of poop, and smear it down the hall. Not just the hall, no. But the carpet in the living room, the kitchen floor and somehow managed to get it on the dinning room ceiling. I have to get this cleaned up, we have my in-laws coming into town this weekend and my wife has already left for work."
Offer to go into detail if needed, but you probably won't
7. For the female hunters
"I am not sure how much vacation time I have left, and I don't want to make any excuses, but I just need a personal day. I have been seeing someone for the past month. He's been coming around every day around the same time. I've brought him food, water and had hundreds of pictures of him at our favorite meeting place, even when I'm not there. He hasn't been around for two weeks and I just can't seem to function. I am going to go out to our spot this morning and see if I can find him, if he's not there I may stay all day and wait it through the evening. I'll keep you posted how I feel over the next few days."
Again, not lying...
6. Did we just become best friends?
"Hey bossman, you said you were a deer hunter right? What do you say I take you out on my prime hunting property this morning and we discuss tactics over a breakfast shortly after? I think the treestand is a great place to brainstorm, and together we could really move mountains today!"
5. Anal Glaucoma
"Good afternoon, I apologize for not answering my phone this morning, I had it real rough today. They think what I have is anal glaucoma. It sounds way worse than I think it is, but with it, I just couldn't see my butt coming into work today. Not sure how tomorrow looks either..."
Get them with a laugh, maybe you'll win them over and get it excused.
4. I'm telling you the truth!
"Yes, I am sorry, my arm was in a sling the entire week. I know what you're thinking, but no, it's not broken, just a little sore is all."
You should know this one by now, but your boss might not!
3. My deer friend
"I apologize for the absence but my deer friend needed me. Well, turns out he didn't need me, in fact he was probably better off without me there. But I brought him over to my house last night. He hung out for a bit, separated the good stuff from the bad stuff, and we wrapped it up in about an hour."
Yeah, that'll do it.
2. Appliance issues
"Hate to do this to you, but we are having some issues at the house right now. Something is going on with my freezer and I can't figure it out. It's been empty for a while because I just haven't had the time to work on it. What with the weather this upcoming weekend, this is my best chance for me to take care of the problem."
Because that's why most of us hunt, really.
1. I am a savage
"Well sir, it's hunting season. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. See you in January."
Let's face it, sometimes we've used all the other excuses in the book.
But other times, the best policy for calling out of work though is just being honest. I mean, if your boss doesn't understand hunting season and it's importance, you probably don't have a job you love anyway.
No matter how you go about it, we all owe it to ourselves to get out of work (for at least a day here and there) and go hunting. You'll want to avoid any worry on the follow up day, so Fridays are always great times to try and pull it off.
Allergic reactions and dentist appointments aren't bad excuses, but you can do better. Just don't use the same one you tried last year!