Aren't cows just fluffy milk horses?
Horses are great, but cows are pretty much just horses with extra fluff—and what's not to love about that? Even if you're lactose intolerant, it's hard not to love a classic cow. They come in all colors, shapes, and sizes (have you ever seen a blow-dried cow?!), and you can even keep miniature cows around for a fun-sized farm. But let's face it: Cows aren't the most graceful creatures. Even gorgeous cows have been known to strike some goofy poses and make some silly faces. That's part of their charm, after all! Naturally, these bodacious bovine buddies of ours have become the subject of many bad cow puns and Dad jokes. They don't seem to mind it much, though.
Here are 30 amooosing (oh yes, pun totally intended) cow puns you can regale your friends with. They might never forgive you, but the subject matter will.
Funny Cow Puns and Jokes
1. I get what you were going for... but you totally butchered that joke.
2. I don't normally eat big meals. I'm more of a grazer.
3. Don't mess this up. The steaks are high.
4. That excuse you gave was a bunch of bull.
5. If you give her any attitude... she'll tan your hide.
6. Don't act rashly. Take stock of the situation first.
7. Make sure you show up on time. If you get there late, she'll have a cow.
8. Seriously, have I ever steered you wrong?
9. It's nearly impossible to hurt his feelings. He has leather skin.
10. Got some leverage? Milk it for all it's worth.
11. I have some real beef with him.
12. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You need to grab it by the horns.
13. A cow will never tell you a lie because they simply give you no bull.
14. The nursery rhyme cow was so excited about his new job that he was over the moon.
15. Always massage a cow's back right before you think about putting it out to posture.
16. One of the problems when you have invisible cows is that they are herd but they are not seen.
17. The nursery rhyme cow was so excited about his new job that he was over the moon.
18. The farmer who got attacked by a cow took him to court to milk him for all he was worth.
19. The nursery rhyme cow was so excited about his new job that he was over the moon.
20. It must have been a bovine intervention that the cow saved my life yesterday.
21. The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-od.
22. The little baby cow was told to get to bed because it was way pasture bedtime.
23. When a cow is not giving milk each day, there must be an udder problem.
24. The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
25. Farmer Brown's cows are the funniest in the land, often referred to as the laughing stock.
26. If you see a cow climbing to the top of a hill, then you know the cream is rising to the top.
27. If you come across a cow with no legs, consider it some real ground beef.
28. The reason Sally stopped telling cow puns was that she always butchered them.
29. The farmer thought he only counted 299 cows in the pasture, but after he rounded them up, he now had 300.
30. One of the reasons that I have never tipped a cow was because I have never been served by a cow before.
There are so many moooves, we couldn't help it with this list of animal puns. Don't have a cow? Hoping to move to a home with greener pastures? Dairy cows are beautiful, and they're beautiful to watch out your window.
Think you've heard some of these puns before? You might have a case of... deja moo!
One day, you'll find yourself in a conversation with the perfect opening for one of these bad puns. And, holy cow, when you do, let 'er rip.
Rest assured, it will be udderly satisfying.
This article was originally published in May 2020.
READ MORE: 35 Pig Puns Perfect for Squealing The Show
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