Forget John Muir or Henry David Thoreau. The greatest pearls of wisdom about the outdoors came from the “Parks and Recreation” character, Ron Swanson.
With the end of the last season of “Park and Recreation” last week, we had to say goodbye to one of the greatest and most macho mustachioed outdoorsmen to ever grace television: Ron Swanson. Luckily, the quotes of the iconic character will enter history along with other wisemen, continuing to inspire us for some time.
Here are some of Ron’s greatest sayings about hunting, fishing, and meat-eating. Fair warning, just reading these may leave you with a craving for bacon, an inner calling to live in the woods, and some extra hair on your chest.
1. “This is a flying robot that I just shot out of the sky when it tried to deliver me a package.”
2. “I call this turf ‘n turf. It’s a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American.”
3. “I also think it’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.”
4. “Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.”
5. “In my opinion, not enough people have looked their dinner in the eyes and considered the circle of life.”
6. “If it doesn’t have meat, it’s a snack.”
7. “The game is absurd. This gun is lightweight, there is no sight, and we are far too close to these deer. Would they not smell us?”
This is when Ron is playing a hunting video game.
8. “An ideal night out is stepping onto my porch area and grilling up a thick slab of something’s flesh.”
9. “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.”
10. “Fish, for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.”
We’ll leave those quotes as they stand, without further explanation. After all, that’s what Ron would want. Then again, he’d also probably want us to stop wasting time remembering a TV show and to get outside.
All the same, Ron Swanson, thanks for the infinite wisdom, and farewell.