Time to weed out whether you are a REAL fisherman or not!
A REAL fisherman has certain thoughts that most people would simply never understand. In fact, it can get us into a little bite of trouble sometimes. Like this first thought, for example.
1. "I need to go fishing."
This thought can literally take place even just in the moment directly after a REAL fisherman actually does go fishing. However, it can and will always take place during work hours, family gatherings, grocery shopping, driving past oceans, driving past rivers, driving past lakes, driving past retention ponds, driving past any type of water, eating fish, staring into your buddy's fish tank after drinking a few beers, seeing a seafood restaurant with a fish as their logo, carpooling...
2. "I bet I could..."
This thought pops up any time you see an item that isn't fishing related, but you bet you could still make it fish! Here are some examples.
"I bet I could MacGuyver that bass out from under that log with just a toothpick, and some dental floss."
"I bet I could use my wife's earrings to fool some big bluegill."
"I bet I could land some pretty sweet bass with this empty dip can."
(FYI, that dip can idea actually works).
Anyways, you get the picture.
3. "It's all about that BASS!"
This thought rips through our mind anytime we hear that god-awful song from that one blond girl that goes like, 'Its all about that bass, bout that bass, bout that bass.'
Now, in order for us hardcore fisherman to even be around other individuals who insist on listening to that ear-bleeding garbage, we simply have to pretend she's singing about bass fishing in order to get through it. After all, in our world, it's all about that bass.
4. "Watermelon vs. Watermelon Seed..."
Anyone who's ever fished with trick worms knows that watermelon and watermelon seed are the best colors for clearwater scenarios. Since the "watermelon vs. watermelon seed" debate is actually a really tough situation to figure out, let me clear it up for you once and for all.
When fishermen eat watermelon, we typically spit out the seeds and keep the watermelon. If you want to make sure the fish isn't going to spit out your lure, choose plain watermelon every time!
P.S.: I hope you caught my sense the humor in that last one. If not, good luck being a REAL fisherman...
5. "Recycled Christmas Tree"
This one happens to serious fin chasers every year. It goes something like this.
"I bet if I saved that old christmas tree, it could make a pretty sweet underwater structure for the bass come springtime!"
That one gets you some pretty disappointed looks from the family, especially if you bring it up before the gifts are opened. In fact, it is probably best not to bring it up at all.
6. "It ain't dark yet!"
This thought is usually comes into play when the sun goes down and you just don't want to call it quits. It is just one of the many times that fisherman willfully deny reality. Here it is in a real-world situation.
"I can't believe it is 11:00 p.m. and it ain't dark yet!"
I'll be honest, this thought is way more like your subconscious actually lying to your face than a legitimate thought, but it still happens to us "die hards" on the regular.
7. "One more cast..."
This is one that real fishing addicts almost always ignore at least 70 to 100 times during a day on the water. Please, allow me paint the picture.
So, the sun is setting and you already fought off the "it ain't dark yet" thought. However, now it is time to wrap things up and head back to the boat ramp. Unfortunately, your subconscious is on to your plan and throws you a curve ball that sounds like this.
Wait! Just one more cast.
So, you give in and take one more. Then another, and another, and another, and another... Get the idea!
8. "One More Cast."
I know what you're thinking. And, yes, this is very similar to the previous thought we just covered, but slightly different. This one pops up at the end of your day on the water when you actually do finally make "just one more cast."
And I'm talking for real, too. This is the one that is literally going to be your last cast or else your wife will file the divorce papers first thing in the morning.
Unfortunately, you think to yourself... one more cast wouldn't hurt anyone. Then you go home and have to sleep on the couch because the queen ain't happy with ya.
9. "No rod? No tackle? What is she (or he) doing here?!"
This one is pretty straight forward. When a REAL fisherman gets suckered into bringing a "distraction" of any kind onto the boat, it's the beginning of the end.
Tip: If someone doesn't have their own rod and tackle box, then they don't set foot on your boat. If you live by it, you can never go wrong.
1o. "No, this isn't too choppy."
This one is another time where your subconscious is lying to you. It usually takes place when you pull up to the lake and there are 5 foot white caps moving across your favorite honey hole, but you still back the boat in the water anyway.
After all, it isn't too choppy!
There you go folks, 10 thoughts that only a REAL fisherman would have! If you enjoyed these, be sure to share them with your friends!