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10 Very Silly Headlines Written by Folks Who’ve Never Seen a Gun

the punt gun, really big gun

Okay, I have no way of knowing for sure if they’ve ever seen a gun.

These headlines are so ridiculous, you might even wonder if these ladies and gents know what the word “gun” means. I really wish they would get informed about guns from people who’ve actually used one!

“Guns in Banks are Not Like Guns in Schools” – Hendrik Hertzberg, The New Yorker

I’d say guns are precision instruments, manufactured with serious quality control standards. A Glock 17 in a bank is in fact exactly like a Glock 17 in a school.

“Yes, Guns are More Dangerous Than Snakes. Here’s the Math.” – William Saletan, Slate

I mean, I sure hope so, especially if I need to kill a pesky snake.

“Friends Don’t Let Friends… Hold Onto Guns?” – Lisa L. Lewis, Slate

Well, I guess you’re right, if they’re holding onto a gun like the person in the image at the top of your article:


“Guns in the White House?” – Carol E. Lee, Politico

What kind of question is that? Do you realize the White House Secret Service have guns?

“The Second Amendment is a Gun-Control Amendment” – Adam Gopnik, The New Yorker

I’m just gonna take the 5th on this one… oh, wait, that might not mean what I think it does.

“The Myth of the Good Guy With a Gun” – Evan DeFilippis and Devin Hughes, Slate

Yikes. Guess “Good Cop” is a myth after all.

 “Goats, Guns, and Georgia” – Charlie Allenson, Huffington Post

Not sure I see your point.

“Time for Gun Owners to Be Good Sports About Gun Restrictions” – Frank Deford, NPR

Time for a serious moment here. Maybe Frank has seen a gun before, but I’m not sure he’s seen many gun owners. The overwhelming majority of American gun owners are great “sports” in every way. Meeting one is a great way to learn that.

“3 Reasons Why Guns Are A Health Problem, and 3 Things We Can Do About It” – Sanjeev K. Sriram, Huffington Post

…a health problem? Like high blood pressure?

“Is It A Real Gun, Or Is It Airsoft?” – Channa Joffe-Walt, NPR

Well, at least this one’s asking questions. Getting informed is always a good place to start!

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10 Very Silly Headlines Written by Folks Who’ve Never Seen a Gun