I cook bacon in the oven. This guy has a significantly more manly method.
A guy who calls himself Oelund on Reddit posted a series of photos and his play-by-play description of using a machine gun to cook bacon.
The gun appears to be a German MG3 in 7.62×51. There’s no description of the origin of the bacon. All I can tell is that is it not Canadian.
Assuming you already have the machine gun, here’s your ingredient list: bacon, aluminum foil, string, and approximately 200 rounds of ammunition.
First steps: Wrap the barrel with foil, wrap the bacon over the foil, and gently secure it in place with the string.
Second steps: Cover the bacon with more foil, and make it secure with more string.
Third Step: Insert the bacon-wrapped barrel into the gun. Oelund warns you to be careful not to tear the foil here.
Next step: Pull the trigger.
Orlund says you can start smelling bacon after just a few dozen rounds. He recommends 250 rounds if you like your bacon crispy, but 150 rounds would probably do.
Your last step is to remove the barrel, peel off the bacon, and serve.
There you go. All you need to know about cooking bacon with a German machine gun.
I can hear Robert Duval saying, “I love the smell of bacon in the morning!”