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As If Things In Houston Weren’t Bad Enough, Check Out These Floating Fire Ant Colonies!

Hurricane Harvey has ravaged the coast of Texas, affecting thousands of people in the Houston area. As if that weren’t bad enough, there’s more: huge floating colonies of fire ants!

“Little flotillas of pain” in the form of thousands of floating red fire ants have been reported in the floodwaters of Houston. Forming “protective islands”, the fire ants are adrift and likely looking for a nice dry place to land and swarm and inflict terror. However, according to a Fox news report, these little ant armadas are also being found inside flooded dwellings, so it appears nothing is safe from this miniaturized Heinlein-esque bug horror.

Boaters are being cautioned to (obviously) stay away from the floating little bastards; the ants can swarm up oars and the sides of boats without even pausing to take off their water wings. If they DO find their way on you, expect a good ol’fashioned burning ant bite barrage. Rub the ants off your skin briskly to remove. Submerging just makes them mad and the ants will cling to you and redouble their efforts at letting you know just how upset they are with you at being back in the water.

It is recommended that people travelling by boats avoid floodwaters altogether, since they apparently have spilled out of the seventh circle of hell and can contain other fun surprises such as alligators, construction debris, and the always delightful human waste.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the affected lives in Houston and other areas of Texas as they rebuild their lives after this ongoing disaster. If you haven’t already, please consider donating to the Red Cross to support those people and families who are struggling in the face of Harvey.

NEXT: ‘CAJUN NAVY’ OFFERS HOPE AND A HELPING HAND TO FLOOD-RAVAGED TEXAS RESIDENTS

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As If Things In Houston Weren’t Bad Enough, Check Out These Floating Fire Ant Colonies!