A craigslist boot ad inspires a heck of a story.
There’s not much to say that isn’t already written out in this great write up on craigslist.org advertising a pair of boots for sale in Fredericksburg, Texas.
We’ll let the seller take it from here with his unedited ad:
It was a cold November morning 79 miles north of Fargo. Winds were out of the NNE at 11 knots. There were already 39 inches of snow on the ground and 13 more due in the next 3 hours. Any lesser boots would have stayed at home. It was a 17 mile hike, all up hill over unGodly terrain including sharp boulders, raging rivers of whitewater and ice, and shifting glaciers with crevasses straight to hell. But I knew these boots were up for the task. I set out with my recurve bow and single arrow (both hand handmade by an ancient Cherokee medicine man) in search of the one… the lone mule-tail bull who had escaped me just days before. But today I knew he was mine when my boots found his scat. I could tell by the moistness and texture as I removed a large hunk of scat from the left boot that I was close. I could tell by the smell that he was scared and knew my boots were following him. I could tell by the taste that he desperately needed to have his anal glands expressed. These boots were getting close… I followed his scent for miles… He zigged and I zagged. He went high and I went low. He tried to escape me but these boots were on a mission. I knew he was close when my nose caught the wind just right and it was there. A bit lighter and even more delicate than on the boot… his fart. I knelt down, the left boot secure to the snow pack, the right holding my weight. The lone arrow found its place on the string as I drew it back, knowing he was about to crest the knoll. I held it there secure, silent, and still for 37 minutes and 49 seconds until he was directly in my sights. The snow blew, the scent of both our farts filled the air, it was a 127 yard shot, but with these boots there was no holding back. I released, the arrow found its mark and he was mine at last!Do you want to have stories like this? Then buy these boots.
So, maybe a little far-fetched, and a little tongue-in-cheek, but don’t you want to go hunting after reading that?
Featured image via craigslist.org