If you love the outdoors, this could quite possibly be the most important Valentine’s Day information you every hear!
Now, I am no expert on relationships… However, I have managed to stay married for the last five years of my life. That has to count for something, right?!
Now don’t think this post is geared towards just dudes either. I know there are some outdoor-loving ladies out there that wish they could get away from their city slicker boyfriends for a day hike on V’day. So, you ladies better be paying attention as well!
The first few excuses are for those who want to escape on their own for a portion of the big day, and the rest are nice, smart ways to get your significant other to join you outdoors.
Here we go!
1. I Need Some Time to Think
I can’t even believe I am going to share this with you guys, but listen closely…
This one is cruel as all hell, and should only be used in extremely desperate situations. Telling your significant other that you “need some time to think” will scare the crap out of them so bad that they will most likely do anything to make you happy; even if it means leaving you alone on Valentine’s Day.
If you are truly in a serious relationship then I strongly suggest you do not use that one. But, if you have only been dating for few months, then you are welcome to let it rip and see how that snowball rolls!
Can’t believe what you just read? Well, I tried to tell you it was a cruel idea and you didn’t listen. On to the next one!
2. Fishing With Your Pops!
The “fishing with your pops” excuse is only reasonable if you plan a killer trip a minimum of six months out.
The idea is that you plan a fishing trip with your dad so far in advance that V’day isn’t even in your significant other’s mind. As the time gets closer they will obviously uncover that your trophy fishing trip to was planned right on top of your February Love Festival.
OOOPS! Can’t believe that happened! Too bad the tickets are booked and you have no choice but head on out.
3. La Trucha Fever
For those of you that don’t know Spanish, ‘la trucha’ simply means ‘the trout’ in Spanish. So, what exactly is trout fever?
Trout fever is the ugly cousin of the infamous buck fever. It comes when you are just dying to feel the tug on the end of your fly line. If your significant other knows you are a streamer junkie then using the ‘la trucha fever’ excuse is more than reasonable. After all, they probably know you will be absolutely horrible to be around if they don’t let you get out there!
BOOM! Door to the river is now open!
4. New Gear for Christmas
It wasn’t too long ago that you were tearing through your Christmas presents to find out they were filled with killer outdoor gear. However, since it was snowing and hella cold outside, you haven’t been able to truly test it! This is where you need to get educated on the fundamental principles of putting your significant other on a guilt trip. This is horrible relationship advice, by the way!
Put on a sad face and use lines like, “But, honey, I got this for Christmas almost two months ago and haven’t been able to use it yet…”
Trust me! It gets em every time!
5. Spring Came Early
Since this is pretty much an outright lie, it is debatable whether or not this is actually a “reasonable excuse.”
But it is still an excuse. So, let’s run with it!
The “spring came early” excuse is best used if you find yourself experiencing a slightly warmer February. Simply tell your significant other that dinner at a restaurant isn’t going to be possible since spring came early and the mountains are calling!
You have to say it with conviction and a flawless delivery or else all you will get with it is a weird look. So, I suggest practicing it a few times first.
6. Make Up a Holiday
With all the different special “days” and things that people are making up, simply make up a holiday called “Annual All Day Fishing” or “Hike and Bike Day.”
Then take that significant other outside for the day. Like the previous excuse before this one, if you sell it right, then it works every time.
7. Forgotten Plans
This is another one that is pretty deceptive and it may be debatable whether or not it can be labeled a “reasonable excuse.” But, lets face it, you are in a relationship so it is about time you learn to walk the line!
This one works by waking up at six in the morning, putting your hiking boots on and grabbing your day pack. Your significant other will look at you like you are nuts. Then turn to them and say, “Oh gosh, you didn’t forget did you? You promised we would spend all day hiking for Valentine’s Day this year.”
Again, perfecting the art of the guilt trip is certainly useful on this one!
8. Break Things Off!
What’s that? You girlfriend or boyfriend just doesn’t want to join you outdoors? Fishing isn’t her thing, and she doesn’t like shooting guns?
Then make sure you deliver this one with a super serious face or else it won’t have the same effect. It goes like this…
“If you don’t let me get my outdoor fix, I guess I am going to have to break things off between us!”
I know! I know! It is super cruel and in your face, but listen, sometimes in a relationship you have no choice but to look out for number one!
There you go! Hopefully these were some reasonable excuses you can put in your pocket this Valentine’s Day. Be sure to share this post with your outdoor loving friends so they can all be free to meet you at a campsite somewhere!