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10 Thoughts You’ll Never Have Unless You’re a REAL Hunter

Let’s face it. We hunters have a mind of our own, and one that many don’t understand. These thoughts will cross your mind… if you’re a REAL hunter.

These 10 thoughts will leave many scratching their heads and a select few saying, “Oh my, this is me in a nutshell, and how did this guy read my mind, anyway?”

1. Sweet, Sweet November…

As a hunter with a wife you have one rule in the Midwest. “Honey, please don’t plan a vacation, or anything for that matter in November. It is the RUT!” If someone ask you to go to Florida in November to hit the beach, and you think absolutely not… you might be a hunter.

2. Freezing Temps… Yes, Please.

elk-in-snow-feature

If it is 50 degrees during the winter and it flat out ticks you off, this is a sure sign you are a real hunter. Everyone is ecstatic about the weather and you began pouting like a baby.

When you look at the weekly weather report and see negative temperatures and snow in the forecast, you instantly get in a better mood because you are thinking, “Big bucks will be on their feet and waterfowl will be migrating south…life is good when it is freezing out.”

3. Mr. Budget

You want that new gun or bow? Time to check out the budget.

“If we cancel the TV bill and eat wild game meat all this month, I can use the TV money and leftover grocery money to swing that new gun!”

New hunting equipment: if there is a will, there is a way. Wives love it…

4. Christmas List (and Yes, I Know It’s July).

Christmas (or September…) rolls around and the family starts asking what you want. Your thoughts always drift to this exact thing.

“Well, I really need a new set of wrenches, the grill has seen better days, I have been wearing the same jeans since highschool, and my shoes have holes in them. All those would be nice.”

But then your mouth opens up, and you say, “I will take a new trail camera, broadheads, and ammo, please.” You know it was the wrong thing to ask for, but man it feels so right.

You might be a real hunter.

5. Hunting Jacket… in Public?

Sure, you own tons of camo. But rarely will you be caught with it in public. Not because you aren’t proud of being a hunter, but because of scent control. Duh, people.

When you see a guy come into the restaurant in the clothes he actually deer hunts in and you think “What on earth is he thinking?” you might be a real hunter.

6. How Much and Where Do I Sign?

aldo-leopold

This is a thought that I often question myself on, and it just puzzles me. When shopping for clothes, food and things that actually play a part in my survival, I am terrified of spending $30 extra dollars and wonder where else that money could be used.

But after I shoot a big tom turkey, beautiful duck, or a big buck my thoughts change too, “How much does that cost and where do I sign? $450 altogether, deposit is just half up front.  “Oh cool, how much more for a pedestal mount?”

It is just money, you make it everyday right? I’ve always said, the only good bill is a taxidermy bill. And if you think this way, chances are you are a hunter too.

7. Summer? No, Thanks.

Summer this, summer that, everyone loves summer. Except the real hunter.

“What is there to hunt in the summer?” Nothing. So, what is so great about it? Sure there’s fishing, and that is a blast, but God just created that so hunters didn’t go completely insane… I think.

If you look at summer as a speed bump in your year, you might be a hunter.

8. Time to be the Seasonal Laundry Police.

So, eight months of the year, you seem to forget where the washer and dryer are placed in your house. Come October, you surprisingly transform into the Laundry Police, and you own that title for a few months.

“Hey honey, don’t wash this basket of clothes. Also, don’t use this detergent, only wash it with this scent control stuff. And make sure no dyer sheets get in this load either. Oh and don’t throw it on the ground either, I have to make sure it makes into this bag or this tub. Actually don’t touch it; I’ll just get it myself.”

You treat the clothes as if they are a new born baby that only you can handle. Handled with extreme care and precision.

Then February rolls around, and you magically forget how to even put your dirty clothes in the hamper.

For all the people married to hunters out there, I am sorry.

9. Playing the Zoo Game

This may sound twisted to many, but if you love hunting, chances are this has happened. And if it hasn’t happened, chances are that it will now. The zoo can be kind of fun.

Every animal exhibit you walk up too, you see the wild animals and all the kids standing in awe. If they are animals that are hunt-able your mind quickly changes focus.

“How far is he? Could I make this shot? The vitals are right there, one more step and he would give me the perfect quartering away shot.”

And then you begin thinking, that would look cool on my wall.

black bear

10. Rise and Shine!!

We are humans, we need our sleep. Sleeping in feels great. The thought of having to be up at 5 am for work is a terrible feeling to most. Getting out of bed is a battle and you mope around the house with squinty eyes and subtle steps.

But the day of a hunt. Well that is a different story. ” Sunrise is 5:15, better be in the stand by 4:45. Well I’d like to get in undetected, so better set the alarm for 3:50. Ahh, make is 3:40, I’ll make some coffee.”

Once that alarm buzzes, you are up and at them wide awake on only a few hours a sleep. If you think sleeping sounds good until hunting season, you might be a hunter.

Let’s Face It

Hunters are weird and have a logic that only other hunters will understand. We love it, we look forward to it, and a lot of us think alike.

If you really take hunting seriously, these are all thoughts that you have thought before.

And I am guessing you take pride in that.

NEXT: Why Deer Season Didn’t Hurt Near as Bad Before Facebook

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10 Thoughts You’ll Never Have Unless You’re a REAL Hunter