These ten pieces of tactical gear are completely unnecessary, but they exist anyways.
It seems that there is a tactical version of just about any product out there these days. Born from the popularity of the AR-15 shooting platform and the shooting industry as a whole, the tactical gear industry has only been bolstered by popular culture fads such as zombies and “prepping” for the end of the world.
While a lot of tactical gear does its job well, there are some tactical products out there that don’t seem to have a real use outside of being called “tactical.” These ten pieces of tactical gear are completely unnecessary, but a couple of them are admittedly still pretty cool.
The tactical stocking is definitely in the overkill department as far as holiday stockings are concerned. There generally isn’t much use for tactical gear when calmly hanging above the fireplace.
Complete with MOLLE-compatible straps and a convenient carry handle, the tactical stocking might look cool, but I wouldn’t really define it as being very critical to a successful holiday mission. I bet you didn’t know that those MOLLE straps on your range bag were also perfect for holding candy canes.
Tactical Beer Mug
Speaking of overkill, it doesn’t get much more over the top than this tactical beer mug. Not only is it very pricey (MSRP of ~$249.99), but it also seems like a fairly inefficient way of delivering beer to your mouth.
This mug has three Picatinny rails mounted on it so you can attach any AR-15 accessory that you could possibly want to. Unfortunately, the only accessory included is an AR-15 handle that also acts as the mug’s handle. That is pretty cool I suppose, but you can buy a whole lot of beer for that MSRP.
For some reason, I think most of us would rather spend the money on more beverages instead.
This tactical soap claims to enhance several characteristics that just about all of us would like to improve on. While it is highly unlikely that this soap actually does any of those things, a soap that smells like wood doesn’t sound like a bad thing.
I suppose it’s better than washing your hands with a scent with a name like “calming lilac” or “gentle lavender.” I think it actually depends a lot on what you are washing off of your hands that determines your manly status. If those things include motor oil, sawdust, or animal blood, then I think you are doing okay.
This piece of tactical gear may actually come in handy for you grillmasters out there. You’ll look pretty weird wearing it, but if you have a full arsenal of grilling tools that you need quick access too, then this tactical apron may just be perfect for you.
With pouches for your beer, seasonings, tongs, spatulas, thermometers, and practically any other tool you might have, the tactical apron will make sure you are geared up to battle that brisket or those burgers. Completely unnecessary, but it exists all the same.
You’ll be ready for anything during your next business meeting with the tactical tie. With the built-in laser pointer, you will make that PowerPoint presentation wish it was never created. This piece of tactical gear looks really cool, but might not exactly be office appropriate.
Give it a shot on casual Friday and your chances will probably be better. It has MOLLE-compatible straps and removable pouches to carry…well, I’m not really sure what you’d put in them, but they are there anyways.
Tactical Pizza Cutter
Have you ever been cutting a pizza and completely made a mess of things because you were missing laser guidance? Then the completely unnecessary tactical laser-guided pizza cutter is out there for you.
This piece of tactical gear also includes a flashlight for those pitch-dark pizza cutting occasions that you encounter. Luckily, most takeout pizza places deliver their pies pre-sliced which totally eliminates any use for this item.
Unless you make your own pizzas at home. In that case, pair this pizza cutter with the tactical apron and you will be the Terminator of home chefs.
Yes, you read that correctly. There is actually a product called Tactical Bacon. It comes pre-cooked in a can, is supposed to last for 10 years, and contains 18 servings. I wouldn’t count on getting 18 servings out of it however.
Let’s be honest, bacon serving sizes tend to be pretty large for people who enjoy the crispy strips of pork. Although this is completely unnecessary, I do have to admit that tactical bacon would make an interesting conversation piece and would help to satisfy your next late-night craving for bacon.
Tactical Diaper Bag
I’m not a parent myself, but from what I know, this tactical diaper bag may actually be quite useful for anyone with a diaper-wearing kid. You’ll be prepared for any child-related mess or disaster that could possibly occur with this diaper bag fully loaded with parenting gear.
I wish you good luck in getting your wife to let you buy the tactical diaper bag. However, it does come with patches for both mom and dad, so maybe that can be your big selling point.
Tactical Lunch Bag
There will be no mistaking which lunch is yours among all the other boring brown bags. Complete with Thermos, snack pouch and MOLLE webbing, the tactical lunch bag will make sure your ham and cheese or turkey sub are still in edible condition come lunch time.
Tactical Shot Glass
The tactical shot glass is definitely one of the coolest products on this list. Modeled after the flash hider from the M16A2 rifle, this shot glass is made of high-quality materials and looks very durable.
They are made from billet aluminum and finished with an anodized, dark grey finish. Just make sure that the guns are safely stowed away after a day at the range before you break this bad boy out.
All of this tactical gear is completely unnecessary, but is still pretty cool when considered with an open mind and maybe even with gag gift potential in mind.